grasping for a star.

because God:

...is immutable He always acts like Himself.

...is a unity He never suspends one of His attributes in order to exercise another.

...is self-existent, His love had no beginning.

...is eternal, His love can have no end.

...is infinite, His love has no limit.

...is holy, His love is the quintessence of all spotless purity.

...is immense, His love is an incomprehensibly vast, bottomless, shoreless sea before which we kneel in joyful silence and from which the loftiest eloquence retreats confused and abashed.

God is LOVE.

He has loved us with this everlasting, perfect love...

and as we have freely received we can try to freely give, so

"we must try to speak of His love. All Christians [followers of Christ] have tried, but none has ever done it very well. I can no more do justice to that awesome and wonder-filled theme than a child can grasp a star. Still, by reaching toward the star the child may call attention to it and even indicate the direction one must look to see it. So, as I stretch my heart toward the high, shining love of God, someone who has not before known about it may be encouraged to look up and have hope."

[Knowledge of the Holy p.98]

this is what God has called us to...

to live our lives, pointing people to the heavenly LOVE of Christ.

no matter where i am, what i am doing, whether i have the title of missionary or the title of waitress makes no matter...

i am loved and forgiven by the Almighty God and i will daily live with eyes eternal and a life liberated that is free to love without fear and hope without anxiety.

time and again i will fail;

but as God graciously redeems i pray my life will be a testimony of His grace and love, causing people to look toward the Star i continually grasp for...

summer brought SUN. sweat. swimming. and silliness.

ok, so i guess there was some work in there as well, but there was a whole lotta laughter, LOVE, and life.
between work and sleep, i planned my day around drinking tea, iced chai, eating pretzels, swimming, boxing, studying Hungarian, napping (rarely), going on bike rides, playing volleyball, Ultimate Uno, and mad tricks into the pool...
not only has the Lord blessed the summer with sweet friends and tons of fun, but He has been so faithful to answer the prayers going into summer for wisdom and grace--not just thinking about these characteristics in God, but desiring God to flow them out through me.

"let your perfections and your LIGHTS be with your holy one..."
[Deuteronomy 33:8a]

as i continue to press on through these last couple weeks in the place i've called my HOME for the last year, i think back on the enormous blessings as well as challenges i have encountered during my time here. despite the growth i have managed when i wasn't getting in the way of God's work, i know i have so much growth yet to experience.
with that i will seek to
"lift my eyes up to the hills--from whence comes my help? my help comes from the LORD who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved;"
[Psalm 121: 1,2a]

so as the summer finishes and a season of my life comes full circle, i step out with a vision of LOVE in my eyes and the knowledge GRACE in my heart.

"let me seek Thee in LONGING
let me long for Thee in SEEKING;
let me find Thee in LOVE,
and LOVE Thee in finding."
--Anselm--

unleavened.

timing.
how does it even work?
what does it even mean?
and when we are always in it, how are we to trust the ONE who's outside of it?

...by remembering His sovereignty.

when He took the children of Israel out of Egypt, He made sure it was done in His perfect timing, for His greater purpose and for His ultimate glory.

time after time, Moses asked Pharaoh to let God's people go, but continually his heart was hardened and it took the death of all the firstborn children of the Egyptians for Pharaoh to finally just kick them out. as it happened, when he decided to kick them out, it was nighttime and the unknowing Israelites were in the process of making bread, but had not yet leavened the bread. although seemingly a minor, unimportant detail was of SUCH importance considering the Feast (of Unleavened Bread) the Lord had just instituted--the Passover.

"for seven days no leaven shall be found in your houses..."
so when they were forced at night from the land of Egypt, the fact that they happened to have unleavened bread, allowed them to celebrate the Passover right when they were delivered from the land of slavery. the Lord will not require of us, that which He does not enable us to do.
He knew. He knows. He will always know.
and not only this, but as they journeyed to the promised land, God guarded their hearts by taking them through the wilderness--the wilderness is not a comfortable place, but the Lord knew the fickleness of their hearts and kept them in His perfect will. this may not have been the easiest way, but by tribulation, we are made more into the image of Jesus Christ.

"tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character HOPE. now HOPE does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
[Romans 5:4-5]

we can take heart and yield to His sovereignty because He is worthy...and He knows.
thank you Lord for knowing...

start.

well here goes...
so i hesitate in starting certain things such as these because i feel that the first one must be epic and memorable to start things off on the right note--but i must begin whether this will live up to the standard i have in my head or not.

as i sit on the windowsill overlooking the snow-covered village of Vajta where i committed myself to live for the year, i think what a journey of abundant blessing the Lord has taken me on thus far while i have been here. it is strange to think that i came here for the first time not even a year ago and yet this has become my home--of course my home from whence i came is different than this home, but what i have been learning on my journey is that i am but a pilgrim and the LORD is my only true home. it is in Him that i can always find rest, refuge and refreshment wherever i may find myself physically. as i am a pilgrim passing through, i want to constantly remind myself that
He is my home.

"now this, 'Yet once more,' indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.
For our God is a consuming fire."
[Hebrews 12:27-29]